Thursday, February 21, 2008

phone call

I feel so hollow.
And yes, it's because of that.

If I was good girl,
If I had called dad,
If I never knew how to cry,
If I could learn not to waste my tears,
If I was a good daughter,
If I was never given a phone,
If I never loved my phone so much,
If I could realise how stupid things can be,
If I figured that it's silly to get upset for no reason,
If I can talk to him,
If I can explain to him,
If I was loved and understood more,
If I can turn back time,
If I had just called,
If I can laugh at how weird things can be,
If I can smile all the time,
If I can hide everything behing a huge smile,
If I could voice out,
If I could have God as my best friend,
If I can God next to me,
If I realised God doesn't hear me,
If I was a good daughter.

Wasn't I one?

I want to tell you so many thing but I can't. I apologise if I had ever hurt you.
I love you, daddy. No matter what happens I will continue loving you.
I wonder why did you even say that? I was full of question marks.

Even if I don't call, that does that mean that I am neglecting you?
That doesn't mean that I've stopped loving you. It's just a phone call.
I'm so sorry for upseting you. My mistake, I should've called.
A stupid phone call was the cause of all this rubbish. I shouldn't have answered when you called.
I feel so dead without the phone. But I am fine wiht it, it's after all phone

I love you, pa!

And if God can hear me, I'll just be so happy. If God could speak to me..

2 comments:

teddy 'posh' beckham said...

boo....
hey.... jz dropping by... and read this post...
no wonder u were so all "moodless" and "quiet" tht day.....
tsk tsk...
so.. r u okay now ???
and stay strong~~~
ure the RUBY!!!
peace [V]

P.S. teddy is already missing ruby d... =p

Niresh said...

don't smile to hide it,
smile because you don't let anything upset you :)